embracing fidelity....

Fidelity is a word I haven't heard much in my lifetime and from my perspective it is certainly not a characteristic that is popular and upheld amongst the masses. Fidelity is rarely found in relationships and when it is it is in a minority. I say this because I remember, as a kid, growing up and my friends would always comment on how lucky i was that my parents were still together and that they showed affection to one another after 30 plus years of marriage - i thought that was normal!

Since my high school days i have come to learn that relationships seem to come and go and change as people seem to 'fall in and out of love' from week to week. Their feelings on any given day seem to dictate their decision making process above anything else... I see this reflected in the high divorce rate amongst both Christian and Non Christian marriages alike, i see this reflected in my own youth and young adult ministries as young people make decisions on whether to enter into or break out of relationships because of the way they are feeling... and it scares me a little bit!

Is Fidelity something that is dependent on how we are feeling or is it a commitment we give and uphold regardless of our feelings and regardless of what our emotions are saying to us?

The online dictionary outlines the meaning of fidelity in the following way:

fi⋅del⋅i⋅ty

1.	strict observance of promises, duties, etc.: a servant's fidelity.

2.	loyalty: fidelity to one's country.

3.	conjugal faithfulness.

4.	adherence to fact or detail.

5.	accuracy; exactness: The speech was transcribed with great fidelity.

6.	Audio, Video. the degree of accuracy with which sound or images are recorded or reproduced.

I reckon we need to embrace fidelity as the principle that underpins EVERY relationship we enter into... whether it be a marriage relationship, a friendship, a relationship with our God, a relationship with our Church community, a relationship with our neighbours, our brothers and sisters and parents... fidelity is lost somewhere or it is something that we have added conditions to... as in:

"I will commit to you as long as...you continue to make me feel good, or as long as you dont challenge me, or as long as you let me do whatever i want to do..."

Marks Sayers reflects in his book "The Trouble with Paris" on the idea of fidelity:

"Our culture has eroticized the stranger. We don't just see this phenomenon on the screen; we see it in our own lives. We find ourselves lusting after or having crushes on people we barely know, whether it be the model in the makeup ad, someone at the bus stop, or the gardener. The stranger speaks to us of excitement, danger, passion and wild sexual abandon.

Conversly, we view commitment and familiarity as uninspired, boring and mundane. We almost believe that as soon as we are committed to something or someone, we take away the ability of that thing or person to excite us and draw us in..."

I am all for fidelity. I am looking for it in my relationships, to offer it and receive it.